Well, I went to AC Moore and bought the supplies--I got three large rolls of white paper, a handful of paints and some spongeish paintbrushes.

If anyone has paint or brushes or anything helpful to make a mural please bring it on Wed!! I also forgot to get tape to hang it, does someone have powerful tape?? Preferably a light color??

Oh, and I never mentioned how I really enjoyed everyone's music videos. They were all SO different! I really liked the variety of political, emotional, and silly/hilarious :)

Well my computer is not feeling so well :( It can't hold a charge 1, because it wont recognize that it's plugged in! Also, I was trying to render a 30 sec clip to a slightly bigger size and it wouldn't let me because it said I'm out of Disk space. So not knowing what I needed to get rid of I went through some files and I may have accidentally deleted some untitled footage from my last film, so now it says the media is unconnected when it prob really isn't there. Yeah, I freaked out a bit.Had a little crying session. Thank God Vision has a copy of my film! I feel like such an idiot though but vow to organize my files better in the future so this doesn't happen again. So I deleted a lot (it seemed) but still it says I have no Disk space...anyone know what to do? Anyway, the point of this is to say that for the instillation I don't want to count on this computer!

If we did this heres what I was thinking (just to keep thoughts organized so I don't forget)

things we would need:
projector
cable to plug it to the comp
paint, sponges, paper
real copy of VJ program
painted on film
Computer

Things to Figure out:
How to make more disk space room on the comp so we can render clips to another speed/size
how to get the footage into the VJ program
how to loop it

Then we could split into different parts like Micki can do the live VJ affects, some of us can paint and get people involved then there is the musica...

Things don't seem to be coming together the way we planned and I'm feeling yucky about it.

Had another idea that can work with VJing: what if we took painted on film (or paint on some and do a video transfer), put it into the VJing program and loop it (and do some live affects). Then we can project the image onto the garage wall and and then have those huge rolls of paper taped on the garage wall and have paints and sponges and such for people to interact with our film by painting on the projected on paper, changing our work of art into a community work of art?

What do you think?

Kind of worried about the installation not gonna lie...We are meeting with Kreul again tomorrow so maybe I'll feel better by then :( Maybe his keyboard will help... I was thinking besides just using footage of old cartoons we could add another element to contrast that tone, war/explosions perhaps?? Maybe something that is totally different- even just a theme like happiness or something. I hope tomorrow we will be successful at loading the footage so we can start playing with the actual footage.

Playing around with the VJ program is fun but makes me very scared. I just don't know how great I'll be at it the first time around. We met with Kreul and he helped us out by going through the program button by button. We plan to meet with him again next week. Maybe we will feel more confident by then. I hope so. Oh, and I'm excited and pleased with how our music video turned out! Yay!

You thought that was gross...

hints

Last project

I was thinking about your ideas Micki for the last project. I really liked the one about VJing. I don't know why I had a delayed reaction about it... and it seemed like we started talking about your other idea before we gave vjing a good chance. But, I think it's something we should talk more about and not rule out just yet. It’s something I would really like to learn, if not now then for WTF. But, if we have the opportunity to learn how now it would be cool!Then we could help other people too. Do we have access to the right equipment?

So let me get this straight:
Tomorrow:meeting at 9pm-12am at Micki's
Fri:Shooting at 7am-1pm at beach
Sat: Shooting at my moms at 10am then at 6pm
Sunday: Maybe shoot if we don't finish

Micki and I went to try to find the golf course man, he wasn't there but his son seems to think it will be fine (they will call me tomorrow to let me know for sure)

Story boards? Are the new things going to be added?

Wow. LOTS to do.

I’m done with my self-portrait, just have to print to tape but have mixed feelings. On one hand, I kindda wish I picked another topic of myself (maybe something fun, possibly humorous?) I just got done making a film about my Dad and I… and still, I couldn’t help but using this same subject for my self-portrait (from a different angle though). If I didn’t tell you here, you would never know it… so maybe I shouldn’t call myself out. Oh well, anyway, I’m just in this particular mode right now- feeding an obsession I have. I’m sure you don’t know what I’m talking about but for the sake of not spoiling it completely; I shall continue to rant without reason. While I made the self-portrait, I felt good about it, like just a little more weight was lifted from my shoulders, but watching it now, I can’t help but get annoyed with hearing my own voice… know what I’m talking about? I very rarely talk about this topic with anyone, so sharing with a whole class is intimidating and makes me worry more than I should and makes me doubt my work ☹

On the other hand, I still want to make more of this type of film about this subject. Haha. Clearly, it is a love/hate relationship. I love this kind of film (the diary film) because I think it’s important to stay in touch with our feelings, understanding that they may change over time. I’m also interested in documenting that process, and I’m sure I will continue to do so throughout my life.

Peace out

The number is 392-9021 ask for Charlie Walker.

-Andre agreed to be our actor I think we should meet with him to tell him more about his role and what to expect. He can meet Thurs: 1-3 on campus or we can go on Monday or Friday to his house. What do you guys think?

-my mom says yes to the golf cart and says that she can get people together for that scene we were talking about with the middle age people. However, she said to film at the Golf Course we need to call first. I'll post the number when she calls me back in a little and our wonderful producer can call. Let him know that your working with Becky Kaufer's daughter.

-yay team

For my group

I don’t know if any of you have had writing about film with Nick Ladadio but he has a band. Check it out www.gordonmerrick.com
Ps. I like that Swashbuckler stuff.

In a pervious blog I wrote about the 35 mm shoot oops! I guess I'll just write a little more about it. It was a learning experiance for me for sure. I feel a lot better about my understanding of f-stops. I really like walking around and thinking about different shots. Usually I care much more about things like directing and editing but I'm starting to realize that it was prob. fear that has kept me from dping more.

Oliver and I had the audio, "Between the devil and thee Deep Blue Sea"
First we listened to it a few times then we looked that the pictures a few times to come up with ideas. We just kindda freestyled a bit at first. I would say that it was a pretty playful assignment and we treated it as such. While I don't think it was a masterpiece of art, I think that it was a fun experiment. I think it was oliver who came up with the idea of cutting things into triangles and then I said circles! So we cut out images first in photoshop then Oliver discovered a way to do the same thing in final cut pro so that sped it up a little.

Light flooded through the tree branches and hit the ground casting light gray shadows all around. There were also patches of grass that became brilliantly highlighted. There were so many colors that this light featured: the dark green leafs, the brown/grey bark, the red backpack in the distance, each complimented now with various shades of itself. I also noticed the difference this light has on eyes. My friend Emily’s eyes looked so much more green than I remember being. They seemed so much more transparent and shiny as her pupils shrunk and expanded as we walked from under the canopy of trees into the sun filled street.

I know that we aren’t supposed to write about our houses but today in my shower I felt inspired, what can I say? Mostly this is because of my bright orange slightly transparent shower curtain. The window parallels the shower and it propels light that makes the outside of the curtain shiny. From the inside it looks totally different. The light was filtered through the curtain rendering a nice mellow orange color on the porcelain. I was particularly intrigued by the shadow the blinds made on the shower wall. It just seemed so abstract. It looked like a little box with lines in it. Even though I knew what I was looking at was the shadow of the window it still seemed almost puzzling. Maybe because it was so small and seemed so out of proportion.

Dinner

A lone candle flickers and casts fragments of light onto the glass table. I notice the shiny gold fabric under the glass is illuminated and sparkles with the fleeting light.
To the right of us hanging from the ceiling is a row of green bulbous light fixtures that shine down focused greenish circles on the wood floor, their edges dissipating into a lighter color. There are double shadows under my hands, one light gray and one darker.
There are dark shadows under Aaron’s eyes, on his neck and under his sleeves.
In the corner the bar glows, light being filtered and fragmented through all colors of glass bottles. As people walk by, their shadows follow them.
Outside the window it is dark except for a streetlight. I don’t notice this light at first I only paid attention to the bright flashes from headlights of cars passing by.

My living room (4pm)
Warm light reflects from the back of my left hand as I type. The computer screen lights the keys and the left side of my laptop reflects a silvery triangular shape from the sunlight filtered by almost shut blinds. My hands make light gray shadows on the base of my laptop. The outside light from the window and glass door creates all kinds of illuminations and shadows on everything it touches. On the black recliner the crevasses remain dark while the outside arms and seat are lit up silvery. The table and couch that are farther away from the window cast overlapping shadows stretching into the room from under its legs. The shadows are not deeply contrasted. Right past the couch, in the right side of the dining room the carpet is lit up by the ceiling light and looks more orange than the carpet hit by natural light. On the corner of the TV you can see a reflection of the window: the lines of the blinds look distorted. You can also see reflections from the black glass table. In the vanity mirror the dinging room light fixture and door is showing. There are wide shadows on the walls and on the ceiling from the ceiling light/fan.

Going out to take photographs was fun. Again, it was very scavenger hunty. It was cool because with all the digital cameras available these days it's easy to loose touch with shooting film. And honestly it was pretty intimidating being the first time I actually dealt with F stops but I loved it, it feels like your really doing something and makes you work more than digital. So just to be a big hypocrite I am going to post a digital picture of something very scary we encountered?

Inspiration Station

I find all of these photographs inspiring. I guess I look for something that makes me feel something, not just something that looks pretty (although there’s a place for that too). All these photographs make me feel: hope, happy, courageous, sad, angry (see boy with gun) and all of those things were the result of so many choices the photographers make. The gerbil picture brought up some nostalgia of elementary school when my best friend Alexis killed a class pet by accident. So, it seems that you can always count on bringing your experiences, memories, and emotions to the photographs you encounter, changing the experiance of your perception of them to begin with.

I enjoyed getting to know my group and the scavenger hunt to various find sounds. We had all these sounds in mind to get but when it came down to it, we listened to our surroundings and a lot we just did on the fly. I particularly enjoyed the unexpected “death of the cicada” sound effect. (I don’t think it really died) This cicada…fell? And we poked it around and it made some pretty interesting noises. Another highlight of the project was when all of us crammed into the tiny pitch-black sound booth where we recorded random vocal sound effects and other sounds (punching the wall, zippers, crushing a can, Brenda’s beautiful singing, the clock, etc.) All was going fine and dandy until we ran into a plethora of technical difficulties and a string of bad luck-exporting/logging/organizing but despite all that I think our sounds were pretty good, and yes we cleaned up our mess of project files.

Hall Log

Sitting in the hallway awaiting class I heard…
Music is overflowing from headphones from the person sitting next to me. He tapped his foot on the floor to the beat. All the sudden the room goes from quiet to a stampede of footsteps (it seemed like most were flip flops and they made noise double time). The doors swung loudly open and then closed with a bang. I heard snippets of random conversations. People talked on their cell phones. A groan. Two people stop in front of me greet each other. A CD player drops on the floor, batteries sliding across the hall. “Oh no.” There is a professor in the classroom to my left, he is talking louder to compensate for the commotion of the hallway. The classroom door is then closed. In the distance, I hear the sound of the vending machine as a soda drops.

Bowling Log

Feet scuffle in all the lanes. The ball rumbles along the glossy wooden floor -sometimes slowly sometimes fast and then crashes into the pins (which can sound victoriously loud and sometimes not). Then there is a faint noise as the metal crank gats rid of the pins and replaces them. People cheer from multiple lanes, “woo hoo” “nice one” “yeah!” Laughter. The bowling man gets on the microphone to announce the winners of last weeks matches. The ceiling fan makes a slight buzz and pop music plays in the background. There is chatter near and far and many slapping of hands. Beer is being poured. I hear chewing (my own). An enthusiastic old lady says, referring to my 3rd gutter ball in a row, “It happens to the best of us.”

A Log

Kitchen In the morning at Aaron’s parent’s house this is what I hear

Doggy paws patter on the tile floor
Heavy panting
The roar of the blender
A spoon circling the blender making chiming sounds.
Blender again but softer
The fan becomes louder then softer as it rotates back and forth in the other room
Water running
Draining slowly
“Anybody want one?”
“Mm this is good”
“Thanks”
Glasses slap on the table
The Mac volume is turned up making three beeps
Typing
Dog lapping water
The dial of the dryer spins then beeps
Tumble of the dryer
Glasses hit the table
Yawn
Contagiously another yawn was yawned.
Water drips in the sink
Freezer rumbles making ice

A Statement

I can’t say I always have known that I wanted to be a filmmaker. It was actually a very lucky accident. When I was a senior in high school I moved to Chapel Hill from Pittsburgh. I signed up for some clothes making class but on the first day of class the teacher didn’t show up and I needed to find something else, so film class- why not? And that was it. Suddenly I couldn’t imagine doing anything else with my life. Since I was little I have always been obsessed with pictures and poems and with making things with my hands. I loved art so much but couldn’t draw! So filmmaking has offered me an opportunity to put all the things I love together.

I am interested in all kinds of filmmaking: experimental, documentary, and narrative. I love screenwriting, directing, editing, painting on film, and participating in and programming film festivals. I am very interested in sociology and issues of class, race, age, and especially gender. I am primarily interested in making films that create social awareness through portraits of people, and human interaction in general within society. I am eager to see all the many ways people live and are, and love to see new perspectives even if I don’t personally agree with them.

Two semesters ago I took Andre Silva’s 6by1 class and discovered my passion for experimental filmmaking. I made a film called “What To Do On A Date If Your Partner Likes It” for my final project. With the Silva’s encouragement and direction I entered it into Humboldt, Athens International, and Cucalorus not expecting to get in, but I did! So now, I have a new agenda for my films and that is to try to get them out into the world.

Currently, I am working on 3 films. One is a documentary about the transgender community. I’m really freaked out about editing it because we have 20 hrs of footage already and are still shooting and need to edit it all this semester. I am so excited too. I absolutely love this project and believe that it will show in the film. I am also working on a very personal exp. film called “An Indefinite Meandering Of Words Left Unsaid” (Could I have made that title more dramatic?) It’s about connecting to tragic event in my past. This film has been so emotionally draining but also such a relief. I am curious about how the film will be perceived by an audience and wonder if it will be worth watching. Lastly, I am working on the preproduction phase of a film with Shannon about the possible generational gap when it comes to Brazilian waxing, and I am really excited for that adventure ☺